what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
PANTIES FOUND
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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