SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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