y did u give ur computer a hand job?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
