last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
