So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
