i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
