sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
