you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
