i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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