I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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