i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
