he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
