Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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