Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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