ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
