Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
