3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
