It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
