I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
