I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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