oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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