please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
