I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
