My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
