just come out here and I will go home with you...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Randomize
