i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
