The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
