Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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