You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
