His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
