Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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