Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
