oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
