You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
