Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
