She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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