Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
