How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
