Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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