i don't like sucking hair
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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