I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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