FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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