just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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