Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
