mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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