I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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