hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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