my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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