Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
