True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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