sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
