Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
