i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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