oh god the rape fog is back!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
