I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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