So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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